Liability

This is a topic that has been on my mind for a few weeks now and I think Sunday's post is a great segue into the subject.

Back in October I wrote a short story for a horror contest inspired by the splatterpunk genre. I had just finished reading Clive Barker's The Great and Secret Show and was really in the zone. Gratuitous sex, violence, and language. True-Self was the result of spending a week in Barker's twisted mind and then immediately setting out to delve into some of the darker parts of my own mind. I was pleased with the story that emerged.

True-Self is the graphic, gory, and sexually explicit tale of a young woman coming to terms with herself. Ironically, it has also become my greatest liability.

Rising Tide: A Novel is a touch tamer, as it is intended for a wider audience. I would hate to lose a fan or reader because I had offended them with a more extreme version of my writing. There is a fine line to dance between censoring yourself and producing something that could damage your brand.

Ultimately, I opted not to remove True-Self from Surviving the Apocalypse on account of 50 Shades of Grey being one of the most popular series in the country. Though I haven't read it, nor do I intend to, I hear it is quite graphic. And if that can pass as appropriate book club reading, I think I am OK.

I did however remove True-Self for about 12 hours for another reason. Shortly after I revealed my pseudonym, book, and blog to my family, I panicked. I immediately had buyer's remorse and feared that my friends and family would be appalled.

After reading it over and over again and staring at the unpublished piece, I finally said "Fuck it!" and re-published it. I said it in Sunday's post, I have said it before and I will say it again: having a twisted imagination does not make me a twisted fuck. If my family can't handle what I write, tough, because they are the ones that have pushed me and encouraged me to embrace my passion. I will not censor myself for personal reasons.

I have already risked my self-esteem, confidence, legitimacy, and career by publishing Rising Tide and posting my short stories and thoughts for the whole world to see. Why stop there? Why not push to the edge? Go big or go home.

What do you think?